So I worked my first wedding this year. It was so great to be doing something useful with my time and not only that but get paid for it too. Not that I’ve been doing nothing the last couple years, but this is actually something within the realm of a job that has the essence of what I’d like to be doing. I get to work with talented fun people, doing something that isn’t just sitting all day. (It must be because it’s 6am and I haven’t slept all night but I feel my writing style is sorely lacking). It was a great evening for many reasons but mostly because I felt that I had a purpose and could share my time with others whose company I actually enjoyed.
Another first was volunteering at the gallery. I met an interesting woman who shared life insights with me and I realized I’m stepping more outside of my comfort zone and really it isn’t that uncomfortable. Perspective is a strange thing. These hurdles we build up in our minds that become mountains and with each passing day slowly grow into insurmountable obstacles we think we can never cross. One day we wake up and decide to try it. Try to overcome these things in our lives that seem like we will never be able to conquer them. And then you get to the other side and realize eh, it was only a molehill. It’s kind of sad really, because I feel that I couldn’t enjoy the victory. This thing that I built up in my mind, I overcame it and now on the other side of it, realize it was nothing.
My first 5k was a month ago. And yet, now, it feels like nothing.. What 5k?? So frustrating. Now I guess I need to run a 10k? A marathon? These things in my life that for some would seem like nothing, and maybe in the broad spectrum of things they really aren’t, have kept me from really living life. There’s always some fear of something that keeps us from living our fullest potential. I need to discover what these other things are and climb to the other side so that I can gain the perspective I need to see them as not that big of a deal.
I am still looking for work and need to push myself to be more aggressive with how I look for it. It’s scary but I need to be able to be financially independent and not only that but feel that I’m capable of whatever it is I do.
Life in all of it’s challenges is just a series of obstacles to overcome. In whatever way that is.