“If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.” ― Anaïs Nin


I really need to read her writing. My friend and I have been reading a bit about her life and also I just started reading her quotes. How have I never heard of her or her writing? Each quote I read is speaking to me in a multitude of ways.
This one hit me as well as this one…
“Music melts all the separate parts of our bodies together.” ― Anaïs Nin

I have felt like that my whole life. This deep connection to music, playing it, listening to it, being around musicians. It was something I needed and craved. And then when part of you shuts down, it’s amazing how you forget to draw on those things that once upon a time were a source of energy. In doing so, you become a bit of a shell. Someone walking through life like an actor playing a role. But not in the passionate, connecting to the character kind of way. Just saying your lines and hoping for the applause. Or at the very least nobody notices.

She says it so perfectly…

“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.”


Hibernating in our every day lives. Each of these moments we experience, we should be breathing them into our souls. I think we get so lost on all the mundane every day activities and wake up the next day exhausted and restart them. It’s so true though, that some never awaken.
I feel blessed to have that spark reignited within me, and I want to continue to fan the flames.

I was called again to ask to help out with volunteering. It wasn’t quite what I wanted (the ushering at the theatre instead of helping out with set design), however I want to be willing to grasp onto whatever experiences life has to offer and see if there is a possibility of a new door being opened.

This entry is all over the place right now, it could be lack of sleep or my mind going all over the place. Whatever it is, I need to keep reminding myself to feel life. To live it. To breathe it. Music, art, reading, writing, traveling, whatever it is that brings experience. Whether pain or joy.


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