We have all heard that phrase everything happens for a reason?
Well, let’s just say this is true. As I’m facing the loss of over 500 images that brought me joy, hope, peace, a place to just call home; I’m going to remind myself of that over and over again.
I will remind myself it’s just a small thing in the scope of life. That maybe just for those moments I needed that memory. If I can’t recover them then that is just life. I can always take more and hope that I have images that speak to me as deeply. I will “grieve” their loss like best friends who left, and I will put them away in my mind and think about them later.
I hope that I can get them back, but I won’t let it tear me down if I can’t.
I know for some this may seem like an overreaction, but it has been a bit of a turning point in my life. Taking these photos and going out on these excursions has brought me so much peace and joy lately. My soul has felt full from all of it. And there is a bit of hurt to lose so many all at once. My own fault for not backing them up as soon as I usually do. Trusting technology…. lol
I have to let it go and not let it be a stumbling block to me. That is the hard part of all of this.
On another note, I think I am accepted thus far into the volunteer program. I have received the initial forms that I need to fill out. Next week will start the training. I am hoping I don’t break down for the second half of it. I almost did when we were talking about hospice. I worked in one before, night shift. There was a sense of calm there for the most part. I think it will help in healing things in my heart I kind of put to the side because I couldn’t handle them at the time.
Hope is a funny thing. It helps us let go and also hold onto things. Maybe I cannot explain it clearly, it’s just what my mind is thinking about lately.
We hope for things we don’t have control over, and they help us to heal and to move forward. It also helps us to let go of them and realize we cannot force life no matter how much we’d like to. We just have to hope. Hope each day will be better, hope we will learn from our mistakes, hope that people we love will love us, and if they don’t we can forgive and still love them but let them go. We hope that the things that seem to continuously get in our way are just challenges and even if they don’t work out, that we will grow and heal. I shall hope even when things seem hopeless 🙂